Anti-Roosevelt essay written as a satire. Hope you enjoy.
America stepped in the twentieth century with great ambition. They already produced more of everything then the world combined and the people had better living standards than anywhere else. Little did they know that producing more things than the rest of the countries, gets you in a bigger hole then the rest of the countries. To add to problems of overproduction American industries laid off more and more workers, who in turn did not have the money to buy things. Farmers were not having the time of their life too, as they produced too much food then could been eaten or sold. Banks could care less for background checks and gave out loans to everyone left and right. Simpletons working on factories now owned af-ford-able cars, houses, shares in GM and lived a utopian life. This paradise needed to descend to Earth, and crash it did on October 24th, 1929. Everyone was attempting to cash in on their shares left and right, causing them to drop in price. Thousands of companies and banks went out of business, and millions were laid off. They no longer could af-ford those lovely automobiles and radios. I could make a lot more jokes about the unemployed but none of them work…… The Great Depression had begun.
Just as things hit ocean rock bottom, the Republic party realized things just took a turn for the Mariana Trench. A democratic candidate – a white knight on a shining steed - Franklin Delano Roosevelt won a staggering victory (by 17 %!) over Hoover. Franklin’s idea of support for the poor and hand outs for the jobless were highly acclaimed by most of the workers while Hoovers “a car in every garage and a chicken in every pot” rang hollow to the plebeians. Roosevelt first order of business was to revive American banking system by killing it. The Emergency Banking Act shut down all banks in the country for a few days and only re-opened the chosen ones. The next order of business was to set about fulfilling the presidential promises of relief for the poor and unemployed. The Federal Emergency Relief Act was a fancy name for the government giving out $500md in an attempt to please the homeless. To completely piss off the still working state people Roosevelt passed the Economy Act which cut their salaries.
The Civilian Conservation Corps was the first alphabet agency that temporarily set off young Americans on a camping trip (which they got paid for!) around America to cut down trees and plant them somewhere else while the government looked for ways to find them real jobs. The new job openings were found in the Works Progress Administration which financed the building of roads, schools and hospitals as well as dams and bridges. To make more people work The National Recovery Administration abolished child labor, firing some 18% of the total working population! To make people have even less money an eight hour mandatory day was established. The most ambitious undertake was the Tennessee Valley Authority which built over sixteen dams in the Tennessee River. Farmers also were touched by the reforms and while the rest of the country was starving and poor the Adjustment Administration payed farmers to produce less food. In the end the 19% of people that lived off their land, being farmers, who were never hungry in the first place, became also rich; while the rest of the population was still in an ugly place (being Hoovervilles). By the end of his first term Roosevelt achieved staggering results! More than two millions (out of twelve) were employed! Seeing as this was not enough, the Social Security Act provided pensions for the widowed and maimed, who now wanted to get jobs even less. American plebeians were grateful to Roosevelt. Seeing as they could get even more hand outs, he was re-elected for three more consecutive terms. The only people that still stood tall and proud were the Supreme Court of America. They disapproved with many of Roosevelt’s “free money” methods. This angered Roosevelt so much that he threatened to replace some judges with his own (which he literally had no power to do).
In the twelve years when Roosevelt was in post, and out of seven being without World War II, he accomplished marvelous heights! More than eight million people out of twelve (66%) were still unemployed! Ultimately it was the World War II and the wartime productions and job openings that ultimately got America out of The Great Depression. Not a “single other president” could have done what Roosevelt did! But perhaps if it was not for him, America would be too republican and right wing! Sometimes we all need to be a little social!
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