I wasn’t sure why I had come to this temple. To get away from the stares and the vulnerability I felt on the streets? The shameless leering and whistling of Indian men made me feel exposed to my core – a constant reminder that I didn’t belong in this country, that no matter how much mehindi I painted on my hands, I would always stick out to the men loitering at chai stalls. 

I rarely felt as weak as I had these past few weeks, as overwhelmed and as used. Everywhere I went, I was judged purely on the way I look. Rich enough that no matter how many gruff “nahis” I uttered, rickshaw drivers always cajoled me to go places I didn’t need to and charged triple the local price. Blonde enough to be a picture of Western promiscuity, an opportunity to practice broken pick-up lines and lean in for the occasional butt-squeeze. 

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